September 30, 2026
The Great Coopers Rock Geocaching Disaster
Dear Journal,
Today started out like a perfectly normal Wednesday.
Which, in our household, should have been our first warning.
I was sitting on the porch enjoying a beautiful morning when Peanut came running out of the house carrying Dad's phone in her mouth.
Now, Peanut isn't supposed to touch Dad's phone.
But apparently she had discovered something called GEOCACHING.
She dropped the phone at my feet and pointed at the screen.
There was a little map.
There was a little treasure box.
And there was a little message that said:
"Geocache located nearby!"
Well, that was all it took.
Within fifteen minutes, the entire gang had assembled.
There was me, Lucy, the tan-and-white Shih Tzu and official leader of absolutely everything.
Peanut, the gray tiger cat and self-appointed Director of Navigation.
Kiwi, the green-cheek conure, who immediately announced that he was going because he had "excellent directional skills."
The Quackers, the identical twin yellow ducks, who didn't really understand what geocaching was but heard the word "treasure" and weren't about to miss it.
Then Gracie showed up.
She took one look at the map and said,
"I'm in."
And finally, floating quietly through the trees came the Ghost of Maybelline, our brownish pit bull ghost.
She looked at the map.
Then she looked at us.
Then she shook her ghostly head.
I could tell she already knew this was going to end badly.
She was right.
🗺️ OFF TO COOPERS ROCK!
We packed some snacks, water, a flashlight, a magnifying glass, three tennis balls, a bag of dog treats, and one extremely suspicious sandwich that Peanut insisted would be useful.
Nobody knew why.
We headed off toward Coopers Rock.
Peanut was in charge of the GPS.
This seemed reasonable.
Until about twenty minutes later when she announced:
"Turn left."
We turned left.
Then she said:
"Turn right."
We turned right.
Then:
"Make a U-turn."
We made a U-turn.
Then she stared at the phone for a long time.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
Peanut looked up.
"I think we're in Pennsylvania."
We weren't.
But we weren't exactly sure where we were.
We kept going.
Eventually we found the trailhead.
The map said the geocache was only 0.8 miles away.
Piece of cake!
🥾 THE WALK
The first part was easy.
We followed the trail.
We crossed a little stream.
The Quackers immediately stopped to take a bath.
Nobody had asked them to.
They just did it.
Then they came waddling back covered in mud.
Gracie looked at them.
"Nice."
The Quackers smiled.
Peanut kept checking the GPS.
Kiwi flew ahead and came back every few minutes shouting:
"I FOUND IT!"
We would all run over.
Every time he was wrong.
First, he found a rotten tree stump.
Then a squirrel.
Then somebody's old boot.
Then a rock that he apparently found "extremely suspicious."
Finally, the GPS said we were only 100 feet away.
We all got excited.
Peanut looked around.
"According to the map, it's right here."
We searched under rocks.
We searched behind trees.
We searched underneath a log.
The Quackers searched inside a hole.
Gracie dug a small trench.
I dug another one.
Kiwi flew in circles above us.
The Ghost of Maybelline floated straight through a tree and came out the other side.
She pointed toward the woods.
We followed her.
That was mistake number one.
🌲 UH-OH.
We walked deeper into the woods.
Then deeper.
Then even deeper.
At one point I looked behind us.
The trail was gone.
I looked at Peanut.
Peanut looked at the GPS.
The GPS said:
"Recalculating..."
Oh, boy.
Then it said:
"No route found."
Nobody said anything.
The Quackers slowly looked at each other.
Kiwi landed on a branch.
Gracie whispered:
"Are we lost?"
Peanut answered:
"No."
We all relaxed.
Then she added:
"We're just somewhere we didn't intend to be."
That wasn't helpful.
🐿️ THE SQUIRREL INCIDENT
While we were trying to figure out where we were, a squirrel jumped onto a log.
Kiwi immediately decided it was an enemy.
He puffed himself up.
The squirrel puffed itself up.
Kiwi yelled.
The squirrel yelled.
Kiwi flew at it.
The squirrel ran.
Kiwi chased it.
The squirrel climbed a tree.
Kiwi landed on a branch above it.
Then the squirrel threw an acorn at Kiwi.
Kiwi came flying back screaming:
"THEY HAVE ARTILLERY!"
We decided it was time to leave.
🌲 EVEN MORE LOST
We kept walking.
Then we found a giant rock.
Peanut said the geocache might be underneath it.
We all pushed.
Lucy pushed.
Gracie pushed.
Peanut pushed.
The Quackers pushed with their heads.
Kiwi supervised.
The Ghost of Maybelline floated through it.
Nothing happened.
Finally Peanut said,
"Maybe it's not this rock."
Everyone stared at her.
Then Gracie said,
"That's what I've been trying to tell you for twenty minutes."
Suddenly we heard something.
A strange noise.
CRACK!
Everyone froze.
Then another:
CRACK!
The Quackers panicked.
They started running in circles.
It turned out to be a falling branch.
But for approximately thirty seconds, we were convinced the forest was full of monsters.
🌅 WE REALLY WERE LOST
By late afternoon, we finally admitted it.
We had absolutely no idea where we were.
We were somewhere deep in Coopers Rock.
Peanut's phone had almost no signal.
Nobody knew which direction the parking lot was.
And the snacks were disappearing at an alarming rate.
I looked at the group.
"This is bad."
The Ghost of Maybelline nodded.
Gracie sat down.
Peanut stared at the map.
The Quackers looked worried.
Then Kiwi said something that changed everything.
"Why don't we just fly home?"
Everybody stared at him.
Kiwi blinked.
"What?"
I said, "Kiwi, we're dogs, cats and ducks."
He looked at the Quackers.
The Quackers looked at Kiwi.
Then they looked at each other.
And suddenly one of the Quackers spread its wings.
FLAP!
The other one spread its wings.
FLAP! FLAP!
Kiwi smiled.
"You know...we CAN fly."
🪽 THE GREAT AIR RESCUE
Kiwi took off.
He flew straight up above the trees.
The Quackers followed.
Up they went.
Higher and higher.
From above the forest, Kiwi could see the road.
He could see the parking area.
He could even see the river in the distance.
He came flying back down.
"I FOUND IT!"
The Quackers landed beside us.
Apparently they had discovered something else.
They could navigate too.
So we formed a plan.
Kiwi would fly ahead and guide us.
The Quackers would fly up occasionally to check our position.
Peanut would keep the GPS.
Gracie and I would stay together.
And the Ghost of Maybelline would float through obstacles and make sure nobody wandered off.
It actually worked!
For once, Peanut's GPS wasn't even necessary.
Kiwi would fly ahead and yell:
"GO LEFT!"
We'd go left.
Then:
"GO RIGHT!"
We'd go right.
Then:
"WATCH OUT FOR THE MUD!"
Too late.
Gracie stepped right into it.
SPLAT!
She looked down at her muddy paws.
Then she looked at Kiwi.
"You could have warned me sooner."
Kiwi shrugged.
🏡 HOME AT LAST
After another hour of hiking, we finally saw something beautiful.
The parking lot!
We had made it!
Everyone celebrated.
The Quackers did a victory dance.
Kiwi did three victory loops through the air.
Gracie rolled around in the grass.
Peanut announced that she had "successfully navigated the entire expedition."
Nobody reminded her that we had gotten lost because she was navigating.
The Ghost of Maybelline simply smiled.
I was exhausted.
But I had learned something important today.
Sometimes getting lost can turn into an adventure.
Sometimes the best plans don't work.
Sometimes squirrels have artillery.
And sometimes the smallest members of the group turn out to be the ones who know how to get everybody home.
As we climbed into the car, Peanut looked at the geocaching app.
She said:
"There's another geocache about two miles from here."
Everyone shouted:
"NO!"
Even the Ghost of Maybelline disappeared into thin air.
I think she went home.
And honestly...
I don't blame her.
Until next time,
Lucy 🐾
Official Coopers Rock Geocaching Expedition Leader
*P.S. We never did find the geocache. But we did find a rusty boot, three acorns, a suspicious rock, a muddy duck, and one very angry squirrel.
So technically...
I think we won.
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