Hello, humans!
It’s us—Kiwi and Peanut—reporting live from our highly sophisticated headquarters, otherwise known as the house.
We decided it was finally time to tell our side of the story. After all, there seems to be an awful lot of writing about us, but somehow nobody has ever asked the two most important members of the household what we think about everything.
So here goes.
Meet the Team
I’m Kiwi, a green cheek conure. I’m small, colorful, extremely intelligent, and, according to Peanut, just a little bit noisy.
Peanut is a gray tiger cat. She would like everyone to know that she is in charge.
I would like everyone to know that she thinks she is in charge.
We have agreed to disagree.
Our adventures have also included Lucy, the tan-and-white Shih Tzu, who has become quite famous for keeping her own journal. Then there are the Quackers, a pair of identical twin ducks who seem to show up whenever something interesting is happening.
Honestly, we couldn't ask for a better crew.
We Are GIS Professionals
People seem surprised that a bird and a cat understand GIS.
We don't understand why.
Peanut is particularly good at sitting directly in front of the computer monitor whenever important GIS work is happening. This is called quality control.
I specialize in keyboard supervision, mouse inspection, and occasionally yelling when somebody is using the wrong button.
We've spent plenty of time working with maps, ArcGIS Pro, pipelines, roads, GPS data, dashboards, and all sorts of other GIS stuff.
Peanut's favorite GIS tool is the Delete key.
Mine is whatever key makes the most interesting noise.
We've even worked on GIS projects involving Hope Gas. Between pipeline maps, utility networks, material types, pipe sizes, and GPS data, there is never a shortage of work.
And if somebody says, “I'm just going to do one quick thing in ArcGIS,” we know better.
Three hours later, they're still sitting there.
Our Outdoor Adventures
We are also serious outdoor professionals.
There have been lawn-mowing operations.
There have been backyard investigations.
There have been people-watching expeditions.
And there have been days when we have sat outside watching all the activity around Morgantown.
When new students start moving into town and the U-Haul trucks begin appearing everywhere, Peanut and I take our positions and carefully monitor the situation.
Peanut watches the people.
I watch the birds.
We both watch for snacks.
That's teamwork.
The Great Lawn-Mowing Controversy
There was, however, a serious labor dispute.
We were prepared to cut the grass.
We had the equipment.
We had the attitude.
We had the professional expertise.
And then somebody said the grass was too wet.
Naturally, we were furious.
We immediately considered going on strike.
We even made signs demanding better working conditions and more seeds and catnip.
Our official position was simple:
Unfair feeding practices will not be tolerated.
Peanut wanted more catnip.
I wanted more seeds.
Neither of us was willing to negotiate.
Eventually, cooler heads prevailed.
But we're keeping an eye on management.
Entertainment Department
When we're not working, we like to have fun.
We've played video games, including competitive games on the television.
We've played board games.
We've tried games like Monopoly, Yahtzee, Pictionary, Operation, Perfection, and even Centipede.
Peanut claims she is the champion of Perfection.
I claim she cheated.
She says cats don't cheat.
They simply have alternative strategies.
We've also been known to dance around the house, listen to music, and generally make a lot of noise.
There have been backyard parties.
There have been concerts.
There have even been adventures where we imagined ourselves singing along with the music.
Peanut isn't much of a singer.
She purrs.
I sing.
Therefore, I am obviously the musical talent.
We Are Also WVU Fans
We love West Virginia.
That means we are naturally interested in West Virginia University.
We've followed WVU football, basketball, and baseball.
We've watched games.
We've worn WVU gear.
We've celebrated victories.
And we've had plenty to say about Mountaineer sports.
Peanut's favorite WVU tradition is probably relaxing.
My favorite is yelling “Let's Go Mountaineers!”
Very loudly.
Several times.
The Lucy's Journal Situation
Our friend Lucy has her own journal, and we've appeared in quite a few of her adventures.
Lucy is usually the narrator.
That means she gets to tell everybody what happened.
Unfortunately, she occasionally leaves out important details.
For example, she might say:
“Today we went on an adventure.”
What she doesn't mention is that Peanut was probably responsible for the adventure, I was probably making noise, the Quackers were probably following us, and somebody probably ended up somewhere they weren't supposed to be.
We've had adventures involving shopping trips, games, fishing, backyard projects, gardening, the Morgantown Mall, the PRT, lawn tractors, and all kinds of ridiculous schemes.
We wouldn't trade any of it.
Our Human
Our human has spent a lot of time working with GIS, maps, computers, data, and all sorts of technical projects.
We've decided that this makes him especially useful.
After all, who else would provide the computer?
Who else would provide the keyboard?
Who else would provide the snacks?
Exactly.
We've also learned that humans sometimes need reminders.
For example:
The grass needs cut.
The birds need seeds.
The cat needs catnip.
The humans need to relax.
These are important household responsibilities.
We take them very seriously.
A Typical Day
A normal day for us might go something like this:
Wake up.
Inspect the house.
Check the backyard.
Check the food situation.
Check the weather.
Check the computer.
Do some GIS.
Take a break.
Watch the neighborhood.
Investigate suspicious activity.
Eat.
Take another break.
Do more GIS.
Consider going on strike.
Eat again.
Watch television.
Plan tomorrow's adventure.
Go to sleep.
Repeat.
It's a demanding schedule.
Our Philosophy
After everything we've done, we've learned a few important things.
Life is better with friends.
A backyard is always worth investigating.
A computer keyboard is never unattended.
GIS is more fun when a cat and a bird are involved.
Never trust a duck who says, “I have an idea.”
Never underestimate a Shih Tzu with a journal.
And most importantly:
There is always time for another adventure.
So that's our story.
We're Kiwi and Peanut.
We're coworkers.
We're backyard supervisors.
We're professional troublemakers.
We're entertainers.
We're WVU fans.
We're GIS assistants.
We're occasionally unionized labor.
And, most of all, we're family.
Tomorrow we'll probably be back at the computer.
Peanut will supervise.
I'll provide technical support.
Someone will probably say we're making too much noise.
And before the day is over, we'll almost certainly find something else to get into.
Because that's just what we do.
Until next time—
Kiwi 🦜 & Peanut 🐱
Senior GIS Assistants, Backyard Inspectors, Snack Quality-Control Specialists, and Directors of Household Mischief
