Lucy’s Journal Entry — May 20, 2026
The gang gathered down at the local Sheetz this evening after work. The humans thought everybody was winding down for the night, but that was absolutely not the case. Kiwi, Peanut, and the quackers had officially begun planning Memorial Day Weekend operations.
The air smelled like gasoline, pepperoni rolls, curly fries, and just a tiny bit of bad decision making.
Lucy slid into the booth first carrying three pepperoni rolls and a giant sweet tea like she owned the place. Peanut jumped onto the seat beside her pretending to look sophisticated, but immediately stole half of Lucy’s mozzarella sticks when nobody was looking.
Kiwi was already bouncing around the table screaming:
“THREE DAY WEEKEND! THREE DAY WEEKEND!”
The quackers were all crowded around a basket of fries, loudly arguing over whether ranch or honey mustard was the superior dipping sauce. Things nearly turned violent.
Eventually Lucy got everybody under control enough to discuss the official weekend plans.
Since Kiwi never did finish building his “luxury tropical backyard waterfall paradise,” the group decided they should visit a real waterfall somewhere in the mountains instead. Kiwi became extremely excited at the idea of swimming and immediately attempted to cannonball directly into somebody’s cup of Dr Pepper.
The tentative plan now includes:
- Swimming all day in cold mountain water
- Peanut supervising from a dry rock while judging everybody
- Cooking hot dogs and burgers on a grill
- The quackers stealing every single chip bag they can find
- Kiwi attempting to become “King of the Waterfall”
Lucy said it actually sounded peaceful for once.
That peaceful feeling lasted approximately seven seconds.
Kiwi suddenly froze while staring out the Sheetz window into the parking lot.
There were cars everywhere.
Rows and rows of shiny clean cars.
Kiwi slowly turned back toward the group with the expression of a tiny feathery supervillain.
“There are too many cars,” he whispered.
The quackers immediately became interested.
Peanut narrowed his eyes and sighed because he already knew where this conversation was going.
Kiwi hopped onto the windowsill dramatically and declared:
“THIS PARKING LOT NEEDS MORE POOP.”
The quackers began quacking in support like tiny feathered henchmen.
Lucy nearly choked on her pepperoni roll laughing while Peanut buried his face in his paws and muttered:
“I can’t take these people anywhere.”
Kiwi then outlined what he called “Operation Memorial Droppings,” which apparently involves coordinated aerial chaos sometime this weekend. The quackers volunteered immediately because, according to them, teamwork makes the dream work.
Peanut has publicly denied involvement.
However… Lucy noticed him smirking a little.
This does not inspire confidence.
One thing is certain:
Memorial Day Weekend may never financially recover from this crew.
.jpg)
