August 19, 2026
Dear Journal,
Morgantown has been invaded!
Well...maybe "invaded" is a little dramatic. The new college students are arriving in town, and everywhere we looked today there were freshmen carrying boxes, backpacks, maps, coffee cups, and enough luggage to stay here for ten years.
Peanut was sitting on the front porch watching the commotion.
"Why are there so many people wandering around staring at their phones?" she asked.
"They're freshmen," I explained.
Kiwi flew down from the tree.
"Freshmen? Excellent! They won't know where anything is!"
His eyes got really big.
"I HAVE A PLAN."
That sentence is never a good sign.
A few minutes later, Gracie arrived, followed closely by the Ghost of Maybelline.
"What's going on?" Gracie asked.
"We're going on a walking tour of Morgantown," I said.
Maybelline smiled.
"That sounds innocent enough."
Kiwi grinned.
"It won't be."
The Quackers immediately started laughing.
"Quack!"
"Quack quack!"
And off we went.
As we walked around Morgantown, we saw freshmen everywhere.
Some were looking for their dorms.
Others were trying to find the WVU Coliseum.
One poor student was standing in the middle of the sidewalk holding a map upside down.
Peanut whispered, "That's our target."
"Absolutely not," I said.
"Relax," Peanut replied. "We're only going to help them become slightly more confused."
Our first prank involved a campus map.
While nobody was looking, the Quackers carefully moved a little directional arrow on a temporary joke sign.
Instead of pointing toward the Coliseum, it pointed toward a nearby parking lot.
The freshman followed it for about twenty feet before realizing something wasn't right.
"This map is terrible!" he exclaimed.
We ducked behind a bush.
The Quackers were laughing so hard they could barely stand.
Then Kiwi got involved.
He flew overhead shouting,
"FOLLOW THE BIRD! I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING!"
The students looked up.
Kiwi flew one direction.
Then another.
Then made a giant circle.
Then landed on a street sign.
"I have absolutely no idea where I am," he announced.
Peanut shook her head.
"At least he's honest."
Next came our greatest masterpiece.
We found a temporary campus directional sign and turned one of the little arrows around.
Suddenly the sign appeared to tell people that the football stadium was in the opposite direction.
Gracie started laughing.
"Lucy, this is terrible!"
"It's only temporary," I said.
Maybelline floated through the sign.
"Besides, I'm pretty sure ghosts don't have to worry about getting lost."
"That's because you can go through walls," I reminded her.
"Excellent point."
Meanwhile, Kiwi had developed a completely different prank strategy.
He was flying above the sidewalks watching the freshmen.
"Target acquired!"
"Kiwi," I warned.
"I'm going to perform the ancient art of aerial bird bombing!"
He swooped down dramatically.
Everyone looked up.
Kiwi tried his best...
...but completely missed.
Instead, his little surprise landed harmlessly on the pavement several feet away.
He flew back up laughing.
"TACTICAL MISS!"
"More like terrible aim," Peanut said.
Kiwi circled around for another attempt, but I finally convinced him that we should probably stop before somebody had to clean up after us.
He landed on my head.
"Fine. But I'm still practicing."
Eventually, our pranks became more helpful.
We straightened the maps we had moved.
We pointed confused freshmen toward the correct buildings.
We even helped one student who had been walking around in circles for nearly twenty minutes.
"See?" Gracie said. "We're actually being helpful now."
Peanut nodded.
"Mostly."
The Quackers looked disappointed.
They had apparently enjoyed being campus navigation consultants.
As the afternoon went on, Morgantown became even busier.
Cars were everywhere.
Parents were unloading furniture.
U-Haul trucks were squeezing through town.
Students were carrying mini-fridges, televisions, laundry baskets, and enormous boxes.
Kiwi flew overhead providing commentary.
"Freshman approaching!"
"Freshman carrying microwave!"
"Freshman has six pillows!"
"Freshman appears to have brought their entire bedroom!"
The Quackers started keeping score.
By the end of the afternoon, they had counted 37 U-Haul trucks, 19 overloaded cars, and approximately 9,000 freshmen.
Peanut pointed out that the last number might be slightly exaggerated.
As the sun began to set, we stopped near a quiet part of town.
We looked back at all the activity.
"It's kind of exciting," Gracie said.
"It is," I agreed.
Maybelline smiled.
"Every August brings new people, new adventures, and new memories."
Kiwi suddenly flew overhead.
"AND NEW PEOPLE TO CONFUSE!"
Everyone laughed.
Peanut looked at him.
"Tomorrow, perhaps we should let the freshmen find their own way."
Kiwi thought about it.
"Okay."
Then he grinned.
"But I'm keeping the map."
Until next time, dear Journal.
Today we learned that Morgantown is much more fun when you're a dog, cat, bird, duck, or ghost—and you already know where you're going.
Although, judging by Kiwi's navigation skills...
maybe none of us actually know where we're going.
Paws, feathers, quacks, and ghostly giggles,
Lucy 🐾
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