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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Solving the Great Mystery

Yesterday the great mystery was presented to me and I, the god of the dumbass bloggers will respond to this request. That's just how I am and how I roll, I'll do anything to keep my readers happy, unless that request involves me wearing a thong and to the theme of Chariots of Fire.

Anyways the question has arisen, why in the world would MUB payments have to be sent to North Carolina. Morgantown money to North Carolina, surely you just but alas, they are sent to North Carolina.

We dispensed our highly trained undercover invisible gnomes out to get hard answers to these hard questions. If anyone could get to the bottom of this, it had to be the highly trained undercover invisible gnomes.

What they have uncovered is terrifying, they have discovered an underground organized crime network who use the mythical North Carolina address as a way of laundering their illegal cash flow network. They exploit everyone into thinking they are charging you for water, yeah right, rain is free. They money is actually sent to North Carolina to confuse anyone trying to track the underground crime syndicates actions.

Well my team of highly trained undercover invisible gnomes did not stop there, they had to find out who was sitting a top of this underground syndicate. Who was benefiting from all of this cash. The results of this ground breaking investigation were shocking, it turns out that someone who no one would accuse or even associate with utility payments was reaping the rewards.

The godfather of this underground crime syndicate was none other than.....

...Punxatawny Phil. You see he saw his shadow last week and forced this damn snow storm upon us. Knowing that he could not capitalize on free rain if the temperatures increased, so he made it snow. Then used that snow and processed it and added value to it just so he could sell it back to us.

I think my group of highly trained undercover invisible gnomes need to start honing up on their Ninja Skills so that they can perpetrate his syndicate and take that rat out.

THAT is why your MUB payments go to North Carolina and I and my team broke the requested story from one of my loyal readers. We aim to please because that's how we roll. Kill the rat.

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