Damn Rat

* Cut off the head, tail, and feet of the damn rat who saw his shadow this morning. Skin and remove the insides very pianfully. Make sure you remove the scent glands as he is screaming for mercy. You'll find them around the top of the groundhog's front legs and the lower back, in the small of it.

* Rinse the inside of the groundhog thoroughly with water and then the outside, and then cure groundhog three to four days or just nuke his ass alive.

* Cut the groundhog into sections. You decide how many, just keep remembering six more weeks with every chop.

* Fill a pot with enough cold water to cover the varmit, usually two quarts. Add ½ cup vinegar and 1 to 1½ tbs. salt. Add a slice of onion, if you'd like. Place the varmit in the vinegar and salt brine and cover. Leave it in the pot for 8 to 12 hours. Decide what recipe you'll use after the groundhog has soaked in the brine. I've decided for groundhog stew. Pour off brine, thoroughly rinse, and beat dry or until spring comes.

* Boil the groundhog in 2 quarts of water for 20 minutes. If foamy water rises to the top, skim it away. Afterwards slice into 1 to 1½ inch pieces.

* Chop 1 onion, 1 celery stalk, 2 garlic cloves, 6 to 8 carrots, and 4 to 6 potatoes. Lower the heat and simmer for 45 minutes or until fork tender and don't forget to add lots and lots of garlic.

* Mix ½ cup of cool water with 1 tbs. flour. Mix until the flour blends without lumps. Add to stew to thicken the broth. Once it's done, salt and pepper to taste, if desired.

If anyone is looking for fresh groundhog...