Phil getting defensive

Intelligence reports are coming in that I am not the only one who is tired of this cold and snow and am ready for a little warmer weather. The silent majority is starting to speak and I hear my old buddy Phil is starting to get a little bit nervous.

Rumor has it he is packing heat in fear for his life because of the weather situation. "I'm going to talk to Mother Nature and see if we can get spring here quicker" Phil said. "Every time I go outside I feel as though people no longer love me, and I feel less loved than Rich Rodriguez in West Virginia" Phil expressed.

In other news, I found a recipe for Groundhog Stew.


1 Groundhog, preferably one responsible for this weather.
2 onions, sliced
1/2 cup celery, sliced
Flour
Vinegar and water
Salt and pepper
Cloves

Clean Phil up; remove glands; cut into serving pieces. Soak overnight in a solution of equal parts of water and vinegar with addition of one sliced onion and a little salt. Drain, wash, and wipe. Parboil 20 minutes, drain, and cover with fresh boiling water. Add one sliced onion, celery, a few cloves, and salt and pepper to taste. Cook until tender; thicken gravy with flour.