Dear Journal,
Today began like most Wednesdays in our household — with me, Lucy (brilliant, beautiful, slightly chaotic green cheek conure), supervising operations from the curtain rod while Peanut (striped menace, professional napper, part-time tiger) pretended not to be plotting something.
By 10:17 a.m., the gang had assembled. Peanut. Kiwi (who insists he is the responsible one, which is adorable). And the usual crew of backyard consultants who still owe me for the waterfall project.
Naturally, we decided civilization needed our presence. So we went to the Morgantown Mall.
ð️ Operation: Mall Mischief
The automatic doors whooshed open like we were royalty. Peanut strutted in like he owned the place. I took flight and immediately established air superiority near the food court signage.
We conducted a full inspection:
Escalators: ridden. Twice.
Decorative plants: lightly investigated.
Mall directory: aggressively critiqued.
Random kiosk with phone cases: suspiciously shiny.
At one point I landed on the big mall map and made an announcement:
“Did you all know KMart used to be in here? Right there.”
I tapped the old anchor location with my beak.
Before it went up on top of the hill. And then… well… we all know how that story ends.
Peanut nodded solemnly like he personally remembers 1998.
“Retail history is important,” I told them. “Respect your fallen big box stores.”
Kiwi tried to eat a pretzel sample during this moment of silence. Disrespectful.
ð The Food Court Incident
I will not confirm or deny whether a napkin dispenser was involved.
Or whether Peanut attempted to “liberate” a French fry.
Or whether security gently suggested that “pets are not permitted.”
We prefer the term mobile chaos consultants.
ð Field Trip: Rural Curiosity
After mall operations were completed (you’re welcome, Morgantown), we decided to head up the hill to Rural King.
The second those doors opened, Peanut’s pupils expanded like he had seen the gates of Valhalla.
Tractor supply section? Fascinating.
Work boots? Excellent for scratching.
Baby chicks? EXTREMELY intriguing.
I perched on a rack of camo hats and declared:
“We could absolutely build a superior waterfall with these supplies.”
Peanut found the feed section and acted like he was reviewing agricultural investments. Kiwi attempted to interview a bag of sunflower seeds.
We maintained what I would describe as moderate chaos levels.
ð Final Thoughts
Malls may change.
KMart may vanish into retail legend.
But one thing remains constant:
If you let a conure and a tiger cat loose in public, you are going to have a story.
Tomorrow we may focus on world domination.
Or snacks.
Probably snacks.
— Lucy ðŠķ
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