Lucy's Journal

Journal Entry – July 9th
Written by Lucy, the white and tan Shih Tzu

Dear Journal,

Well, today was absolutely glorious. Mischievous. Sneaky. Downright devious. And I loved every second of it.

It all started right after breakfast. The humans were distracted with sunscreen and sunglasses and floaties and whatever else they lug out for pool day. Meanwhile, I spotted Kiwi doing little loops near the ceiling fan, already plotting. That bird’s got a glint in her eye that always means, “Let’s raise some chaos.” Naturally, I wagged my tail and joined in.

We waited until the humans were all lounging around the pool — some were reading, some sunbathing, one guy was floating on an inflatable flamingo with zero awareness of what was about to happen. That’s when Kiwi gave me the signal: a quick chirp and a head bob. The Operation: Dive-Bomb was a go.

Kiwi soared out the back sliding door like a tiny feathery superhero. He circled once, then twice, then — SPLAT. First victim: the bald guy with the Bluetooth speaker. Right on the shoulder. He thought it was sunscreen at first. Ha!

I was down below pretending to sniff around the garden beds, but really I was trying not to laugh. Peanut was lurking in the shade, rolling her eyes, pretending she was above all this. But I saw her smirk when Kiwi got Aunt Terri,  Aunt Kim, and Aunt Pam in her purple hair.

“Direct hit!” Kiwi squawked, zipping past me, laughing like a goblin. “Next one’s for the lifeguard!”

(We don’t even have a lifeguard. It was just my teenage cousin who thinks he’s important because he wears sunglasses and carries a whistle.)

Anyway, after three more precision air strikes and one near miss on the nacho plate (which I absolutely would’ve eaten if I could reach), we all regrouped in the garage. I pretended to be hot and tired. Peanut dramatically flopped onto a pile of beach towels like he’d just run a marathon. Kiwi, still jazzed from all the flying, perched on my head as I laid in the laundry basket and started writing this journal.

He’s still here now. Preening. Probably planning tomorrow’s air raid.

The humans? Never suspected a thing. They blamed it on random birds. Ha! As if a common pigeon could land that many bullseyes.

We’re legends. Feathered and furry legends.

Til next time,
🐾 Lucy the Poolside Prankster

P.S. Kiwi says he’s working on a midair fart move. I told him that’s not how bird anatomy works, but he’s determined.