Lucy's Journal

 

Journal Entry – July 23th
Written by Lucy, the white and tan Shih Tzu

Dear Journal,

Okay, Lucy. Time to put on your thinking collar. Last week was hilarious. I mean they all went to the Zoo and left us behind, we all pooped in the refrigerator just to get them back for not taking us.

But now it’s time to think again, the air smells like possibility, and my tail’s been wagging with anticipation since breakfast.

How do we top ourselves?

Here I am, curled up under the coffee table with one ear flopped over my eyes, trying to brainstorm while Kiwi preens her tail feathers dramatically on the arm of the couch like some kind of tropical supervillain. Peanut is pretending not to listen, but I can tell his ears twitch every time I mutter the word “plan.”

Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

1. The Great Doorbell Deception
Kiwi has learned how to mimic the doorbell almost perfectly. If she starts doing it while the humans are deep into their dinner, we can trigger a panic. I bark at the door, Peanut bolts down the hallway, the humans rush to answer… and BAM! Total confusion. Meanwhile, we swipe the garlic bread off the table. (Still salty about not getting any last week.)

2. Disguise Day
Peanut wears a baby bonnet. I wear sunglasses. Kiwi rides around on a toy car. We pretend we’re someone else entirely. I don’t even know what the endgame is here — I just think the visual is worth it.

3. Sprinkle Chase
If we can somehow get into the baking cabinet (again), I’m thinking we pour the sprinkles all over the living room rug and chase each other around in circles. Nothing says “mission accomplished” like humans wondering why their carpet looks like a unicorn exploded.

4. Remote Reprogramming
Peanut’s figured out how to sit on the remote and switch the TV from “Golf Channel” to “Squirrel Videos on YouTube.” Every. Time. Humans think it’s a glitch. It’s not. It’s art.

But here’s the thing… none of this feels big enough. We need something legendary. Something they’ll tell stories about at family cookouts. Something with a name.

Maybe… “Operation Mud Paw.”
Rain’s coming tomorrow. The yard will be perfect. I’ll let you imagine the rest.

We’re not just cute. We’re a team. A furry-feathery force of delightful destruction. And the week is young.

Thinking dangerously,
🐾 Lucy the Mastermind (fluffy, fearless, and slightly sticky from this morning’s jelly toast theft)

P.S. Kiwi just squawked, “We need glitter!” I don’t know what for yet, but I’m already onboard.