Damn little ungrateful Rat, I can't believe you still saw your damn shadow after everything we did for you? What was it, the lack of another hooker? Not enough beer?
I have a solution:
GROUNDHOG STEW
1 woodchuck
2 onions, sliced
1/2 cup celery, sliced
Flour
Vinegar and water
Salt and pepper
Cloves
Garlic for Danielle
Clean the damn shadow seeing Rat; remove glands as violently as possible; cut into serving pieces while cussing the snow. Soak overnight in a solution of equal parts of water and vinegar with addition of one sliced onion and a little salt, but make sure you tenderize him by beating the hell out of the rat. Drain, wash, and wipe. Parboil 20 minutes, drain, and cover with fresh boiling water. Add one sliced onion, celery, Garlic, a few cloves, and salt and pepper to taste. Cook until tender; thicken gravy with flour and the damn rat is sorry for bringing the winter.
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