Lucy's Journal

Journal of Lucy, Shih Tzu Goddess
October 1

Today I called forth my cousins for the Grand Council of Movie Night. As the Shih Tzu Goddess of Snacks and Regal Cuddles, it is my duty to bring order to chaos. Sadly, chaos showed up first.

The Quacker twins barged in, feathers flying everywhere, chanting in harmony:
“Howard the Duck! Howard the Duck! QUACK QUACK QUACK!”
They even brought a hand-drawn poster and stuck it to my dog bed. Truly blasphemous.

Peanut, in typical tiger-cat fashion, sauntered in, plopped down on my rug, and began grooming a paw like she was bored of our very existence. Then she purred, “Garfield. Fat, orange, lasagna-loving royalty. Accept no substitutes.”
She flicked her tail, yawned dramatically, and added: “I don’t care what we see, but let the record show I am absolutely NOT driving.” Then she rolled over and started snoring.

I rose from my pillow throne, let the divine fluff of my ears shimmer in the lamplight, and declared:
“The answer is Underdog! A noble hound of honor, courage, and impeccable grooming. Only a fool would deny his greatness.”

Kiwi, meanwhile, was hanging upside down from the curtain rod, cackling so loud I feared the neighbors might call a priest. He shouted, “You’re all ridiculous! Birds don’t even PAY for tickets. I’m sneaking in the popcorn machine!” Then he dropped a sunflower seed right on Peanut’s head.

The room descended into pure pandemonium. The Quackers flapped onto the coffee table, squawking “Howard! Howard! HOWARD!” Peanut swiped at them lazily with one paw. Kiwi was now doing dive-bombs and chanting “Free refills! Free refills!” And I, the only voice of reason, stood proud and noble… barking until my throat hurt.

The debate ended with Kiwi announcing, half-asleep:
“Fine. Whatever. But again—NOT. DRIVING.”

And so, the council remains divided. But fear not—Lucy the Shih Tzu Goddess shall prevail. By next week, there will be a movie, and it will be Underdog. Or I shall chew the remote into dust.

— Lucy 🐾✨
Supreme Deity of Movie Night